Today, I took a solo day trip – something I had yet to do since my arrival in Sweden. I hopped on a train and got off in Motala, a beautiful town located on Lake Vättern and part of the Göta Kanal. I walked from the train station to the city center, found a cute cafe in the harbor and grabbed myself a bite to eat. I wandered over to the Motor Museum, grabbed an ice cream bar and sat on the pier in what may very well be one of the most beautiful days in the two weeks that I have been here.
Since I got here I found myself feeling a bit unsteady. Not really having a routine, my brain has been in a constant whirlwind of thoughts. I’ve had a lot of fun, and I have seen a lot, but today I needed to take some time to explore things on my own.
Today, an incredible thing happened. Something people always talk about but it never feels like it will happen. Today, I made peace with myself. I forgave the people in my past – with or without an apology – I let my worries go, and I found my center. It’s something I have struggled to do, and today sitting in the harbor in a foreign country watching the waves, something within me finally clicked. I felt free. I felt full of life. Emotions crashed over me, and I felt like crying and screaming and laughing all at the same time, but that click was definitely there. Something I had been looking for finally made sense. I finally made sense.
In life, I feel like we take things for granted. Money, happiness, friends, family, health. It’s all taken for granted. I’ve spent a good chunk of my life feeling like I’ve been in a trance; feeling lost, sometimes confused, sometimes alone. But what I realized today, what I wish I had realized sooner, is that it’s okay. It is okay to be sad, and angry, and frustrated, or incredibly elated at everything. But it’s important to find your center. Every high has a low, what goes up must come down, every peak has a trough – it is all so true. But in the middle of the parabola of life, there is a center. Everyone has one. Sweden showed me mine. Sweden taught me that I am okay.
Your centered traveler