Kiddo, you’ve got to love yourself

As you know, I am a second year BScN student in Ontario. That being said, my opportunities for abroad travel are very slim because of the specific course requirements and practicum requirements that are put into place for our success. Fast forward to this year. In February 2016, I was presented with an opportunity I never thought I’d follow through on, one that I never thought in a million years would be possible. I was informed by my school’s International Office that there was a program this summer that would allow me to study for 4 weeks at Linköping University in Linköping, Sweden. I made an appointment with the International Office to go in that same day, and I filled out the application to the university, not even really thinking about actually getting accepted. It is a super competitive program and I applied on the last day. Literally, I sat down and my advisor said to me “so it’s the last day to get applications in so if you are even thinking about it, apply. You can always withdraw the application later”. So, I did. And it may very well be the best decision I have ever made.

A little while ago, I came across this post on facebook:

KID

I came across it before I ever considered traveling abroad; and to be fully honest, its part of the reason I took that spur of the moment opportunity and filled out the application. Sure, I want to travel the world and explore new places and fall in love with stupid addresses (I’m looking at you, Sweden) but I realized then that even more so I wanted to explore my own mind, my own body and fall in love with myself. I think there are opportunities in life that you just cannot say “no” to – I think this is one of them. I’ve never fully known who I am – I’ve never really been “alone”. I’ve been through some things that have made me a better person, but I’m still deeply rooted in my past, and I need to break free of those roots and let myself grow – for the sake of me now, in this moment, and the me in 10 years who will be caring for patients in a hospital somewhere listening to their life stories and wishing I had taken chances when I could.

I’m tired of living my life in the passenger seat – doing what I think people would want me to do and not doing what I want to do. I’m a people pleaser – I always have been. I seek approval for my actions, and never, ever do anything without running it by someone else first. I want people to want me, to love me. But the sad part is, while I was so busy trying to make people love me, I forgot to love myself.

And it’s really about time that I start loving myself.

xoxo,

your little world traveler.

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